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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25559359">Schizophrenia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadphonesChild/pseuds/HeadphonesChild'>HeadphonesChild</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abusive Relationships, Car Accidents, Character Death, Delusions, Drug Abuse, Gen, M/M, Schizophrenia, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:02:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,951</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25559359</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeadphonesChild/pseuds/HeadphonesChild</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Roman had always been a creative soul, his whole childhood. So it was no wonder that his personality attracted other children. At age six, Roman had met his best friend.</p><p>COMPLETED</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Schizophrenia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roman had always been a creative soul, his whole childhood. So it was no wonder that his personality attracted other children. At age six, Roman had met his best friend.<br/>
</p><p>Roman was confused, hearing crying from a few feet away. He put down the branch he had been using as a sword and walked over to the large oak tree in front of his house, hearing the sniffling grow louder as he approached. He peered around the tree, seeing a small boy in an oversized hoodie sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest. As Roman got closer, the boy peered up. His eyes grew wide in fright and he scrambled to get up. Roman rushed over to him and grabbed his hoodie sleeve to stop him from running away. The boy’s eyes flickered between Roman’s face and the hand on his sleeve. He shrunk away as much as he could. Roman tilted his head. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Roman asked, The boy bit his lip and looked at his shoes.<br/>
</p><p>“I… I just… My friends went to play without me…” The boy spoke so quietly that Roman could barely hear him. “I saw you playing… and I wanted to join but… I didn’t want to interrupt…” he pulled his sleeve from Roman’s hand. “I can leave…” Roman gave a wide smile in response.<br/>
</p><p>“No, you don’t need to go! You can play with me! I don’t have anyone to play with either.” Roman stuck out his hand to the boy. “My name is Roman Edwards!” The boy shook his hand hesitantly.<br/>
</p><p>“V-Virgil Grey…” Roman grinned.<br/>
</p><p>“Come on, Virgil! Let’s play!” Roman ran off back towards where he dropped his tree branch sword, looking back to see Virgil following him. Virgil looked nervous, but when Roman handed him the branch, he gave a small smile.<br/>
</p><p>The pair played for nearly an hour before Roman was called inside for dinner. Virgil looked as though he was about to leave, but Roman grabbed his sleeve again before he could. Roman dragged Virgil into his house, practically bouncing with excitement. His mom looked over to Roman with a smile. “Ro, did you have fun?” Roman barely waited for his mom to finish speaking before bursting out-<br/>
</p><p>“Mom, this is Virgil! We met outside! He’s my friend now!” A look of confusion crossed her face, before she smiled politely at Virgil.<br/>
</p><p>“Well then. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Virgil.”<br/>
——————————————<br/>
When school started, Roman was disappointed to discover that Virgil wasn’t going to the same school as him. However, that didn’t prevent Roman from making friends in his class. Almost instantly, he was befriended by a kid with round, blue glasses and a gap toothed smile. They sat next to each other, and Roman could hardly wait to introduce him to Virgil. He knew Virgil didn’t have many friends, but this boy was very nice. He felt like they would get along very well. </p><p>    Roman got close to the kids in his class in the first month of school, his closest friends being Patton, the gap-toothed kid, and Logan, Patton’s best friend. Roman wasn’t too fond of Logan, he was too serious, but he felt like Virgil would get along with him as well. Roman was disappointed he hadn’t seen Virgil since school started, but he supposed that they were both so busy that it wasn’t surprising. After all, the homework was pretty hard. </p><p>    As the school year was ending, Roman still hadn’t seen Virgil, and had nearly forgotten about him. He set up a play date with Patton and Logan at the park, which Patton was ecstatic about, and Logan seemed willing to put up with it. As Roman was climbing off the bus that day at home, he saw Virgil sitting standing next to the oak tree again. Roman’s face broke into a wide grin as he raced off the bus, running to meet Virgil. He seemed nervous as he fidgeted with his hoodie sleeves. “Virgil! I missed you!” Virgil gave an awkward smile in response. “Hey! Me and my friends are going to the park! Will you come too? They’ll like you!” Virgil bit his lip at Roman’s question, but after a moment, nodded.<br/>
</p><p>Roman’s mom didn’t bat an eye as Virgil got in the car with Roman to go to the park with him.<br/>
Roman flung the car door open before the car was even stopped, causing Virgil to yelp. Roman jumped out as soon as the car was parked, and he ran over to where Patton and Logan were. Patton was playing in the sandbox, and Logan was reading on the bench next to him (the teacher was annoyed that Logan knew how to read already and was so far ahead of the class). Roman looked behind him periodically, seeing Virgil following him anxiously.<br/>
</p><p>Roman jumped into the sandbox, which made Patton give out a small yelp, before laughing and looking up to see Roman. Logan looked up from his book, seeming mildly annoyed. Roman couldn’t bring himself to say anything against Logan, his excitement to introduce Virgil overriding everything. “Lo! Pat! I want you to meet my best friend, Virgil!” Roman gestured behind him. Logan raised a brow, and closed his book.<br/>
</p><p>“Where is he, Roman?” Logan asked. Roman frowned, looking behind himself to see that Virgil had disappeared. Patton was frowning when he turned back around.<br/>
</p><p>“I want to meet your friend.” He said.<br/>
</p><p>“He was just here…” Roman said, scanning the park. Logan adjusted his glasses.<br/>
</p><p>“Could it be possible he is an imaginary friend? It’s not uncommon for children our age to have imaginary friends.” At this idea, Patton brightened.<br/>
</p><p>“I have an imaginary cat!” He offered helpfully. Roman couldn’t help but feel offended.<br/>
</p><p>“No, Virgil is real! I’m going to go find him.”<br/>
</p><p>It took almost half an hour for Roman to find Virgil, and by that point he had started to consider that maybe Logan was right and Virgil was imaginary. However, he found his best friend sitting under a tree, crying with his knees pulled to his chest. Roman frowned to see Virgil sitting like this again. Roman walked up to him, sitting next to him.<br/>
</p><p>“Virge? What’s wrong?” Virgil looked over to Roman with teary eyes.<br/>
</p><p>“I-I… I didn’t want to tell you, cause I didn’t want you to get mad… But people scare me… I don’t wanna meet them… I’m scared they won’t like me, Ro…” Virgil hid his face in his knees again. Roman gave him a hug as best he could.<br/>
</p><p>“I won’t make you meet them, then. I don’t want you scared, Virgil.”<br/>
————————<br/>
Around twelve, Roman began feeling strange things. Virgil had become more active in his life, but Roman never made him befriend Logan and Patton. Virgil seemed perfectly happy just being Roman’s friend. However, this meant he was around Roman an awful lot. And Roman began noticing things about his friend he hadn’t before. Like how his pale skin made his freckles stand out. And how his makeup always looked amazing, despite him only knowing how to do makeup for a few months. And how long his eyelashes were. How Roman could always make Virgil laugh. How he always tried to hide his smile that made his tongue poke out a small bit. Whenever Roman looked at Virgil, a pit grew in his stomach, and his face grew warm. He didn’t understand why, and he didn’t understand why it felt awful and amazing at the same time whenever Virgil complimented him. He thought that if he ignored it, it would go away.<br/>
—————————<br/>
Roman was so excited to go to the concert. He was honestly surprised he, Logan, and Patton found a band they all liked. Twenty One Pilots was introduced to him by Virgil, and it wasn’t long before Roman showed it to his best friends. Logan took to it almost immediately, despite his distaste for most music. He analyzed every lyric, and enjoyed the songs by comparing them to poems. Patton took longer to get into it. He found a lot of the songs too dark and depressing, but he decided he liked the sound of the ukulele, and that was about all it took for Patton to listen to every album in one week. When his mom got him tickets to the local concert for his sixteenth birthday, he was over the moon. When he gave the tickets to Logan and Patton, Patton screamed and tackled Roman to the ground in a hug. Even Logan gave a smile in thanks, which meant a lot. Roman was disappointed Virgil didn’t want to come to the concert, but he knew his anxiety wouldn’t allow him to be in such a big crowd.<br/>
</p><p>Roman couldn’t remember much of the concert, but he did know that it was one of the best nights of his life.<br/>
—————————<br/>
Roman didn’t know when he lost touch with Logan and Patton. Maybe it was after a fight, or maybe it was when they all got accepted into different colleges. They were just in his life one day, and gone the next. Roman found he didn’t care much for long. He still had Virgil by his side. Roman’s feelings for Virgil didn’t fade, no matter how much he tried to ignore them. At eighteen, he got his first kiss. It felt like nothing he had ever felt before. His heart both raced and stopped at the same time. Virgil’s hand’s felt cool against his warm skin. Roman decided to never push away his feelings again after that.<br/>
________________<br/>
It was a surprise when Virgil started pushing Roman to do drugs. It started small, with him offering a cigarette once or twice, then a drink before Roman turned twenty one. But Virgil had been his friend for over a decade, Roman had no reason to distrust him. Within a year, Roman was addicted to tobacco and drank daily. Virgil continued to offer other drugs, each one more powerful than the last. Roman dropped out of college to pay for his addictions. His arms were covered with purple bruises from poorly disinfected needles and bar fights. Despite the pain, he continued to follow Virgil’s advice. He was the only friend he had left after all.<br/>
He injected too much heroin into his body and collapsed because of Virgil's advice. He nearly died.<br/>
_______________<br/>
Patton sat next to Roman’s hospital bed, watching him with pity. He was Roman’s emergency contact ever since his mother died, but he doubted Roman even knew he was there. He didn’t even know if he knew his mother had died.<br/>
</p><p>Roman laid on the hospital bed, babbling to himself with his eye glazed over. Patton wished he could blame this on the drugs Roman had filled his body with, because that would mean his friend would be back to normal once his system was flushed. But this was all Virgil’s fault. Virgil, the boy Patton had never met. Virgil, the boy who didn’t exist.<br/>
</p><p>After Logan died in the car accident on the way to the Twenty One Pilots concert, Roman had been Patton’s friend. But Roman started to pull away, distance himself. He would talk to himself, or someone named Virgil who wasn’t there. He didn’t see Patton anymore, no matter how much he tried to talk to him.<br/>
</p><p>Roman has schizophrenia. It wasn’t caught before it got out of hand, because it rarely manifests in men under 40. The head trauma he received in the crash amplified his hallucinations. But now, Roman is too far gone. And Patton can only watch his friend suffer in another world, while he doesn’t even know he’s there for him.</p>
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